purple dusk

2008-11-14T09:00:00.004+08:00

so late last night i was speaking to certain friends and be it by coincidence or by pure fate acting in my favour,
i found out alot and realised much.
the main trend of all these revelations was basically, that really, no one can be trusted and i have been a complete fool.

and so, from now on, for the sake of my privacy, for the sake of my safety, for the sake of my sanity,
i am no longer going to update at this very ~~private~~ public (i figured some people wont understand sarcasm) space.
yes, i am moving. again.

this time, friends whom i deem trust-worthy will be duly informed of my new address.
if you are not informed, then well, you know what i think of you.
and no, do not bother asking, i will laugh at you in your face.

i bid you goodbye, and to my friends, i'll see you at the new site!
(and please do not disclose my new url or link me on any of your blogs thanks!)
to mere acquintances without the honour of my new url,
you can always get your dose of entertainment and poke your noses into my life at the following two websites as they will still be maintained to some degree:
serahsong.livejournal
subtlecruelty.blogspot

its been a pleasure (or maybe not) having you here :)

2008-11-13T23:01:00.004+08:00

fridz and i were literally hyperventilating before history we were SO scared and nervous haha.
but it turned out quite all right in the end
although i'm still a little pissed Arab-Israeli conflict didnt come out.
bah.

headed out to pan pac for buffet dinner with the family and a few relatives after that.
my dad went all sleepy after drinking a cup of coffee what a strange creature.
my cousin gave me an assortment of honey sticks :D :D

came home and i just finished packing my room!
purged the huge mountains of notes yay.

and wth i am damn angry with XXX now after ___ (name has been removed so as not to implicate the innocent) told me some uber bad news.
this absolutely SUCKS all my plans are ruined.
ftw WHY am i being dragged along?
i DONT want to go.
like wtf i only just touch down back in singapore FINALLY and then the very next day you want me tramping off overseas AGAIN?
well i'm sorry but i have prior appointments.
i hate the way your arrangements are always so last minute.
i told you RIGHT from the START i DO NOT WANT TO GO. FULL STOP. END OF DISCUSSION.
yes, i am THAT angry that i am actually venting my displeasure on my open blog and not bothering to put this under an lj friends-only.
oh FIE.
like ftw, First you keep me in on my Birthday night due to XXX.
And now, THIS.
you're just monsters all of you.

ugh this has put me into SUCH a bad mood i am not going to type anymore lest i end up offending people.
i am so confronting my mum about this.

2008-11-10T13:11:00.008+08:00

yesterday i texted the class clique and my wonderful friend to wish them good luck for today's lit paper and recieved a whole barrage of hilarious replies.

this is what i sent:
"hello my lusty widows! :D enjoy the scandalous lit preparation and all the best for the terrible week ahead! may our results shine as brightly as estella's jewels(:"
[okay, those who have never read the Duchess of Malfi or Great Expectations are not going to get the inside academic jokes ;)
and they're probably not going to understand the following replies much either. ]

nic:
"LUSTY WIDOWS??! ARE YOU CURSING MY BOYFRIEND??"

aly:
"haha thanks though i do hope we won't marry a brute like drummle in future though!"

joanne:
"er thanks, i'm ready for my violent death to serve for mandragora.[wth?? lol. this smart genius will so Not die.] all the best!"

candice:
"lusty widows?! heyy i'm still innocent ok :P *ahem* [this is SO candice.] haha.. yup all the best!"

sheree:
"lusty widow? sorry wrong number. i think that sms was meant for han jiajun HAHA"
[i totally laughed at this one.]

j aka the abovementioned han:
"thanks!"
[i swear that guy has lost his wits now that A levels are upon us. so much for all the 'pun fun' -.-]

frida (the longest one!):
"may we have a future and not be condemned to studying the past for the rest of our lives too. oh man if origins doesnt come out i'll slit my thorat and wait for 5pm [omg this girl's insane. i'm hoping origins doesnt come out and she Wants origins to come out. poofeedoo.] but anywayzzz yes my friend thou art wilt do well [what's with the shakespearean english? lol?] and end up much better off than bos and ant [i still prefer obby as a nickname for bosola and antonio can be so much more easily and aptly referred to as the idiot. okay, out of point.] combined. Cuz you're worth it! (: [sweet haha.]"

amusement amusement.

and all through preparation yesterday, i kept wondering, what if we were to alter the ending of DOM and make it ridiculously happily-ever-after?
like like, what if bosola and cariola were to get married?
HAHAHA.

well lit wasnt so bad today.
significance of setting in Great Ex and old ferdie for DOM.

econs essays tmr!
balance of payments ftw.

okay i am going to reply livejournal comments and then hit the books :)

2008-11-08T10:59:00.008+08:00

OMG Il Divo has a new album [The Promise]
HOW did i NOT know this?
its evidence of how my life is at an absolute standstill due to these annoying exams.

gah. and That's one more item on the birthday wish list ;)

and i still cant find anyone who has the josh bates album
k i need to haunt hmv after As.
SARA! cd-shopping partner/ future syc mate, we need to meet up!

/edit
OMG they did absolutely beautiful covers of HALLELUJAH and AMAZING GRACE on the new album.
the Hallelujah's in ~~either italian or~~ spanish, i didnt listen to the lyrics too closely to tell but its still omg beautiful.
and their Amazing Grace is literally, amazing. it builds to such a majestic climax i have never heard Amazing Grace done so awesome before.
MY FAVOURITE SONGS, MY FAVOURITE SINGERS.
:D :D :D

/edit
hallelujah's Spanish :D yay.
but i still like the lyrics from Rufus Wainwright's version better. (click link above to see!)

2008-11-07T23:20:00.004+08:00

voting statistics show that majority of his voters were either 1. young (ie: immature) or 2. coloured.
[disclaimer: i am Not racist.]

ah whatever.

math is over!
no more complex numbers for the rest of my life!
this calls for a major celebration.

i'm kinda looking forward to the coming papers.
essays essays and more essays!
compared to numbers and formulae, being able to write actual words is going to be heaven.

okay, maybe i'm not looking forward to history though.
gah i am so tempted to skip kashmir and effects (of the end of the Cold War).
and i still dont like Schools of Thought questions.

right.
mug, medication, sleep.

zipeedoodah.

2008-11-06T09:09:00.004+08:00

"CHANGE we need"
"CHANGE has come"
change WHAT?

"the road ahead is long...
but i promise you: we as a people will get there"
get WHERE?

goodness.
you know what's amusing?
his name differs from the name of the world's most wanted terrorist by only one alphabet. HAHA.

but what's really hilarious?
the way the ENTIRE world has gone crazy celebrating.

what IS the world coming to?

/edit
M's concession speech sounded so much more sincere than his little victory speech.
charisma? oh yes he sure has lots of it.
i mean he talks and goes on and on about NOTHING and people still are applauding.

well, let's see what he's gonna change.

2008-11-05T15:50:00.001+08:00

oh bummer.
its a black day.

puns intended.
(if anyone gets them that is)

2008-11-02T14:16:00.002+08:00

TOMORROW IS D-DAY.
welcome to the hardest exams of your life.

Wish me good speed,
for i am going into a wilderness
where i shall find nor path, nor friendly clew
to be my guide.

hahaha, nah, no path, no friendly clew,
but i have my Saviour and my Best Friend :)
因祂有丰盛的慈爱
眷顾我一切所需
赐给我能力如鹰展翅上腾

good luck all!
<3

2008-11-01T19:56:00.001+08:00

my dearest meh is currently on the plane right now.
haha. she promised to text the moment she reaches indo.
take care of yourself girl, i will miss you loads!
see you on the 30!! :D
<33333

2008-10-31T09:25:00.007+08:00

today i woke up logged on to lj as usual and saw something on a friend's lj that made me feel very comforted.
i am apparently not the only retard who prefers McCain to Obama HAHA.
see here for more!
but what's the point, we cant vote HAHA

and unfortunately McCain comes with Palin.
why couldnt it be McCain and Biden
THAT to me is an ideal combination.
okay maybe i am insane.

and its time to get back to math.

/edit
text messages with ian
ian: i see you like the old white men.
me: WTH?? i'm sorry, but i believe in the stereotype of old= experienced and more wise. -.-

my brother's alarm has been ringing for the past whole hour and NOW he finally gets up.

ftw why are teachers appearing on my facebook under the 'people you may know too' function??

/edit at 1030am
-phone rings.
i pick up.
me: hello?
a familiar voice but i still cant really tell who it is: is wailan [my mum] there?
me: uh no
the voice: who is speaking?
me: uh. her daughter?
the voice (drily): this is your cousin.
HAHAHAHAHA.

2008-10-30T10:12:00.004+08:00

i was awoken at one am last night by a very surprising text message out of the blue from Guess Who...
JOEL LEE JUN QI. the idiot i havent heard from for 17907390573974 centuries.
ended up texting for a good hour or so.
so much for readjusting my body clock to early nights and mornings
wth i woke up at 9 today, an hour later than the time i set my alarm for.
but it was good catching up :)

4 days 4 days 4 days.
oh God help us.

and wtf i cant do complex numbers.
at all.

2008-10-27T20:35:00.001+08:00

aunty xiurong's homebaked bread is AWESOME :D
tummy is happy :)

2008-10-26T20:06:00.003+08:00

service was good today :)
worship was especially enjoyable haha i especially love it when yummy mummy leads worship :D

lunched with the usual crowd after that.
which obviously equated to squeezing into uncle alvin's car as usual.
my brother: you're squashing my arm!!
marco: your arm is poking my ribs!
-.- those two are one bickering pair.
we all had a hilarious time.
and that's the last time i'll see my meh for this year :(

all right i am going to reply sunshine's very adorable email and then get back to econs!

happy birthday to the babaloo! :)

Indescribable, uncontainable
You placed the stars in the sky
And You know them by name
You are amazing God

All powerful, untameable
Awestruck we fall to our knees
And we humbly proclaim
That You are amazing God

Incomparable, unchangeable
You see the depths of my heart
And You love me the same
You are amazing God, You are amazing God
You are my amazing God <3

2008-10-25T12:15:00.003+08:00

-darn it the link died.

-crosses fingers and wishes hard
HAHA.

20 more days to the 18th
and 21 more days to sunshine day ;)
and 30 more days to freedom :D

2008-10-24T19:47:00.003+08:00

hsm3 soundtrack is interestingly amusing.
although there are a couple of cute songs.
Can I Have This Dance is sickeningly lovey-sappy but not in an all bad way.
and the graduation remix of We're All in This Together is quite different from the original but in quite a nice way.
and no, i have not caught the movie yet.
reason should be pretty self-explanatory.

talking to my meh now and i cant believe sunday will be the last time i see her.
gah.
i am currently getting her to list me all her book titles so she can pass them to me before she goes and i'll have nice post As reading material.
she accuses me of treating her like a bookshop HAHA.

i desperately need new ear phones.
well i guess i've only got a couple or so more weeks to endure since the birthday's coming and i can then go hound my daddy :D

i cant decide whether i want a new phone or not.
i also cant decide whether i want a new ipod or not.
but i know i definitely want a new laptop.

presently craving for Gossip Girl episodes and starburst jellybeans.
yes, the latter's very random i know. and i'll probably only get that craving fulfilled in aussieeeeee.

anyway. econs have been coming along at a much better pace than history.
(well, of course.)
next week is rescue-my-terrible-math week. -crosses fingers.

the babaloo's birthday is coming.
and it falls on the same day of another friend's birthday.
although i dont even know whether or not she's still considered a friend since we havent spoken in ten thousand years.
i suppose i will still send her a birthday text out of politeness though.
whatever.
i hate it when people who were once so close to you change so much and become complete strangers after just a couple of years (or less) in a new environment.
-shrugs.
not like its any of my business anyway.

and now my meh is berating me for having to sit in the front row on sunday Again (due to duties) (and therefore, am not able to sit with her). and on her last sunday around too. poofles.

okay, i was about to type something else following up on that, but i shall not.
let's not rock the boat shall we :)
at least not in public.
those of you with access to my lj friends-only entries, you know where to look (:

all right.
its back to burying my head in the annoying Keynesian model now (with the sounds of my parents' cell's praise and worship swirling all around me.)

cos when i see you
everything will be all right
when i see you
this darkness will turn to light

and i will walk on water
and you will catch me if i fall
and i will get lost in your eyes
i know everything will be all right
i know everything is all right <3

Storm by Lifehouse is a very beautiful song :)

/edit
i am so amused
my dad came in a while ago, saw me eating Ruffles again and confiscated them cos he thinks i shouldnt be eating heaty stuff and should be watching my health at such a critical time.
then i walk out of my room and see him curled up in front of his laptop...
munching on my Ruffles.
HAHAHAHA.
since when did he like potato chips?
hmm.

2008-10-22T22:00:00.003+08:00

for reasons that no one except myself need know,
i deleted yesterday's entry :)

ah cramps are 5 days early. i dont know if that's good or bad.

and to you,
you still are my summer sunshine :)
i only hope this summer will be an endless one <3

2008-10-18T10:03:00.002+08:00

what were you thinking??

well. maybe i was wrong about you.
but you know what?
you were wrong about me too.
or did you really think i'd tell you all the truth?
better safe than sorry.

and to everyone else,
just stfu.
didnt understand that acronym?
well, for your own edification, the first word is shut and the last word is up.
that should make it pretty clear enough :)

2008-10-16T09:46:00.000+08:00

VICKY CRISTINA BARCELONA OST!!
:D :D :D :D

2008-10-15T14:05:00.003+08:00

yes, in between burying my nose in piles of notes about Ameican hegemony and the Cold War, i come online from time to time to take short rubbish quizzes as a form of destress.

You Are 82% Misanthropic

You are misanthropic to the point of being scary. In your view, people are a disease.

You may want to lighten up a little - before you become a super villain!

How Misanthropic Are You?

now i need to get back to rolling my eyes at the Cheena economy.

2008-10-13T22:25:00.001+08:00

this is probably why some people insist i'm subversive:

You Are 93% Non Conformist

You're incredibly strange. And a weirdness like yours takes skill to cultivate!

No one really understands you. And you're cool with that. You just hope you never have to understand them!

Are You a Nonconformist?

2008-10-13T20:22:00.002+08:00

i wish things were that simple.
but they arent.
full stop.

oh just stfu.

2008-10-11T17:32:00.004+08:00

went for youth today and was super amused when i stepped into the Faithworks bookshop and saw that they had a book on Sarah Palin on sale.
like, omg wth??
told gracey and she was equally amused.
palin palin. oh boy.
and i see them selling this book at my own church right after i hear news over some radio station about her having abused her position as governer.
HAHA.

anyway.
came home and were greeted by these two little beauties(:

my favourite eye candy! (:

2008-10-09T18:03:00.004+08:00

baccalaureate service and farewell to school today.
vivo rooftop with the class after that.
and it seemed like we werent the only class who infiltrated vivo.
went on a pilgrimage to Candy Empire before we left and i bought jelly beans and Lindt dark chocolate (85% cocoa!)! :D
i am happy :)

oh yes, my form tutor's last words to me were:
"Dont be so subversive."
omg wth?

okay, i shall check my email and do a couple of SAT questions and then get back to great ex and its 'negative commentary on Victorian society'.

i think he's still asleep that pig.
tsk tsk.

oh yes,
HAPPY EIGHTEENTH LYNETTE TAN SU PING MY APPLE TREE :))
<33

2008-10-08T16:19:00.002+08:00

The summer sun ray
shifts through a suspicious tree.
though i walk through the valley of the shadow
It sucks the air
and looks around for me.

The grass speaks.
I hear green chanting all day.
I will fear no evil, fear no evil
The blades extend
and reach my way.

The sky breaks.
It sags and breathes upon my face.
In the presence of mine enemies, mine enemies
The world is full of enemies.
There is no safe place.

-Anne Sexton: Noon Walk On the Asylum Lawn
[emphasis, mine.]

2008-10-08T10:25:00.004+08:00

1. my meh just called me saying she's done with exams !!! NO FAIR. hmph.

2. my mum doesnt like fat eagles.

3. i skipped school today :D
(i think i can safely say almost half or more of the class probably did too.)

4. speaking of the class, the class clique had an absolutely fascinating and entertaining conversation yesterday regarding our marriage prospects HAHA.

5. last day of school tmr!!

6. i need to get new pills.

7. and for now i am going to try to locate more eagles (that arent fat) for my mum.

2008-10-06T17:44:00.001+08:00

cos all around the storms are raging
but you're my summer sunshine :)

you and me we can sit and watch the night unfold-
here comes the rest of our lives.

2008-10-05T20:23:00.005+08:00

旷野道路有祢同行
祢从不离弃
在祢怀中我感到温暖无比 <3

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose."
-Romans 8 : 28
the babaloo just texted that lovely verse over haha.

to quote her:
press on friends! :)

2008-10-04T13:11:00.006+08:00

i spent the morning getting more and more fed up over stats and probability.
or rather, getting more and more fed up at myself for not being able to do simple questions.
maybe its my empty growling stomache adversely affecting my screwed up brain.

talking to the idiot on the phone now and discussing how terribly annoying the us unis common app is.
ugh.

speaking of that, sheree has registered for SATs in jan too!! :D
i have company! haha.

okay, i hope my parents come back with my lunch soon.
and i think my parents are really amazing people.
i never figured out how they take so much crap not just from me and my brother but from work And from the organisation in which they're heavily involved as well.
oh well. their rewards are in heaven :)

i should stop dreaming about american education and actually set my sights on more attainable singapore unis.
Williams has a freaking admission rate of 18%. oh my antonio
i should stop kidding myself.

anyway.
if you're bored/ annoyed/ stressed and need a laugh or a little pick-me-up,
HERE is a fantastic source of amusement. (i'm Not kidding here.)
it seriously made my morning HAHA

2008-10-03T15:03:00.003+08:00

dashing up four flights of stairs desperately trying to beat our lecturer to the lecture venue (looking back now, i have no idea for what reason) will probably remain the fondest (and most hilarious) memory of my last friday of sleepy lessons in a school uniform.

my back aches from falling asleep at my desk in a really awkward position for two hours yesterday.
ugh.

SATs in January!
i felt very strangely insanely satisfied and happy after completing the online registration.
aly called me a "true blue nerd" and "nerdy ning". =.=
thanks, babaloo.

all right, probability!

30 days to As
and 52 days to freedom!
we can do this! :)

2008-10-01T16:32:00.003+08:00

my boring life over the past two days has been mainly consisted of:
1. ranting about our education systems

2. an interesting picture meme (waste of time i know but i was bored)

3. desperately trying to locate ian for the whole of last night and by the time he finally picked up his phone at 6am this morning, it was already pretty much too late.
storm had blown over.

4. finding out at 10am that the storm had apparently Not blown over.

5. whining to joash and ian on conference call for the past hour and attempting to make sense of the whole situation.

okay, this is hilarious
i need to get back to unproductive studying.

2008-09-29T15:03:00.001+08:00

You hold my every moment,
You calm my raging seas,
You walk with me through fire.
i believe You're my Healer,
i believe You are all i need,
You're more than enough for me.

i love You Lord,
i worship You.
hope which was lost
now stands renewed.
i give my life to honour this-
the love of Christ,
the Saviour King :)

2008-09-27T17:30:00.005+08:00

I HAVE A SAD BORING LIFE AND SELECTIVE MUTISM.

Current Mode: Euphoria says:
do you think i have selective mutism? >.>
Current Mode: Euphoria says:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Selective_mutism
`serahsong _______ abstruse aberration. says:
i think Everyone does
`serahsong _______ abstruse aberration. says:
hell, even I do
`serahsong _______ abstruse aberration. says:
i remember my own mom commenting t me before that i have "autistic tendancies"
`serahsong _______ abstruse aberration. says:
-.-
`serahsong _______ abstruse aberration. says:
well not that i deny it
Current Mode: Euphoria says:
oh excellent, we're all mad!
Current Mode: Euphoria says:
we're all mad here. i'm mad. you're mad.
`serahsong _______ abstruse aberration. says:
excellent this is the most fascinating and fulfilling conversation i've had all day
`serahsong _______ abstruse aberration. says:
i am going t put it down in my blog.
Current Mode: Euphoria says:
you have a very sad boring life oO
`serahsong _______ abstruse aberration. says:
TELL ME ABOUT IT.
Current Mode: Euphoria says:
and this is from a person who just spent the whole day sitting in front of the compy-chan
Current Mode: Euphoria says:
TRYING TO MAKE GREAT EXPECTATIONS CHARACTER NOTES
`serahsong _______ abstruse aberration. says:
WELL i'm sure you had loverboy to talk to at the same time
Current Mode: Euphoria says:
yus
.
.
.
`serahsong _______ abstruse aberration. says:
okay i think we ARE mad
Current Mode: Euphoria says:
it's contagious!
Current Mode: Euphoria says:
we must slay the source!

/edit
ian- extemporize. says:
i just read your blog.
ian- extemporize. says:
so. should i expect a response or not?

HAHAHA.

2008-09-23T18:40:00.003+08:00

the most amusing statement i heard all day:
"FLAPPITY FLAP."
and no, dont ask. i have no idea what my strange friend was thinking either.
ah the joys of caffeine.

an interesting statement on our gp mock paper:
"all deviation is evil."
of course not! I'm not evil! or am i? (:

after the paper sheree was happily pointing at me and going, "i bet you did that question!"
and frida joined in and went "of course! look at her! she's evil!"
omg.
-insert bimbotic gasp of indignation.

my wonderful friend as we were walking out of school:
"you're fun to ignore."
omg.
-insert another bimbotic gasp of indignation.

anyway.
i came home and the first thing i saw on my desk was a sheet of Walle stamps and hence my sudden desire to blog!
they are super adorable :D
my daddy is so lovably amusing haha. <3

2008-09-22T20:31:00.001+08:00

i apologise for being moody and cold and very easily pissed off lately.
but whatever.
stay away if you dont want to feel the fire of my wrath.

2008-09-21T18:21:00.000+08:00

and today, i realised this.

2008-09-20T19:57:00.001+08:00

finally- a nice thing that's happened through the whole course of this miserable week:
Ember came over to play! :D

ps: Ember is a pretty pretty white puppy :)
(well, okay, maybe she's not a puppy anymore. but still.)

2008-09-16T17:35:00.002+08:00

i am still coughing my lungs out.
oh fie.
fridz was berating me to go see a doctor.
"you could have pneumonia or bronchitis!"
and j in a text message last night- "you're probably dying."
and then there was some bit about lung infections. cant remember exactly what.
well, what very comforting prospects.

sheree caught my bug and wasnt in school today as a result.

okay, if the situation doesnt improve by tomorrow, i am going to a doctor.

my phone bill is horrendous.
so do excuse me if i go awol on you and refuse to reply your texts.

okay, this cough is seriously impairing my brain and memory.

i need to talk to ian.
he needs to help me chase annoying people away.

2008-09-12T17:35:00.003+08:00

its friday and i'm alive and not suicidal!
haha.
we were all really amused by an apparant "school policy" that teachers are not allowed to release our results unless there are counsellors around.
me and fridz were still joking about that today and making a deal that she'd go tell the counsellor she was in need of assisted suicide and i'd say i was in need of anti-depressants and could she throw in some cough and flu medication too.
HAHA.

anyway.
results were released and i didnt die.
all things in consideration, i am actually fairly satisfied with my grades.
(nb: All things in consideration. such as how much effort i put in and how our cohort did as a whole etc etc)
and hopefully with the moderation, my result slip will look a little prettier :)
well, what's done is done anyway.
all that's left to do now is mug our asses off and do even better for the actual As (:

all right.
leaving the house soon for prayer meeting at church.
i think its going to be a busy weekend with youth and tuition on sat and the cousin's wedding on sunday.

okay, friendster really needs to stop spamming me!
ugh. doesnt it realise i've never logged in for ten thousand years?
(to be exact, ever since i got my facebook ;))

2008-09-10T18:23:00.002+08:00

took the day off school yesterday because the sore throat decided to mutate into a fever.
well. at least the fever's gone now even if my throat is still screwed and i'm coughing like every second.

anyway, today school was boring
gp was boring
math lec was depressing
econs survey was freaking annoying because of some group of bimbos screaming and screeching away behind us at the sight of their own wonderful faces on a computer screen.
library with S where i fell into yet another half-comatose state.
spent 45 minutes just waiting and waiting around before we finally headed to fmc for rehearsal.
which was pretty amusing i must say.

all right.
gp compre and dinner beckons.

i am dreading friday.

and i am sick of coughing.
(pun! :D )

2008-09-08T19:04:00.003+08:00

just great.
freaking first day of school and i HAD to come down with a sore throat.
i Hate sore throats.
yes i am a loser with zero tolerance for pain.
and i feel a flu is probably going to descend my way too and although its not as bad as a sore throat, its still bad.
i passed the day in some state of semi-consciousness, went home early, and still couldnt concentrate on anything.
i hate being sick.
gah.
WHY?????
maybe its my erratic sleeping patterns lately?
or maybe its the new pills i've started taking?
or maybe its just me being the weakling i am.
ugh.

2008-09-07T21:37:00.002+08:00

it absolutely sucks that school's starting tmr and there are so many nice movies coming out that i want to catch.
ugh WHY do all these films i want to watch have to come out when i need to be home and mugging for the atrocious As??
there's The Banishment (yea i have yet to catch that), and Boy A.
and Mama Mia and Youth Without Youth are coming out as well just to name a few.
AND not to mention how DEPRIVED of good fiction i am.
argh.

this is not a life at all.

someone buy me a time machine.

all right all right
enough of whining and complaining
i've been doing enough of that this whole very miserable day already
ian and joash have already had more than enough of dealing with my emotional nonsense.
haha. much thanks to them though really, for always being there even when i'm being a complete bitch.

so anyway. i shall get my mugging engine started for real and hopefully do passably okay for As.
with His grace :)

just two more months to go.
and then its Joy to the world.
(well, literally too since xmas will be just round the corner by then ;))

k, i shall continue talking to my meh for abit
and maybe Finally sleep early for once in these few weeks.

2008-09-06T10:29:00.005+08:00

aunt's birthday celeb last night was fun :D
i saw my chinese teacher (yang laoshi) again after so long!
haha and our table had much fun playing random games like hangman, upper body charades and 7 up and eventually some strange chinese game which absolutely stunned me actually.
[my chinese has deproved indeed :)]
i have lovably mad cousins!
got dragged up to present our aunt a song later in the night heh.

home at near 1130 and had nice msn conversations with various people.
joash the idiot never fails to make me laugh (:

ian needs to stop being mia!
especially when i desperately need to talk to him.
hmph.

back to school on monday!
i am so looking forward to it
Not.

2008-09-03T22:11:00.002+08:00

its been an interesting few days.
thank You my King, my Best Friend for Your amazing presence and love :)
overwhelmingly grateful <3

couple of things that pissed me off quite abit today,
but its all good now. (:

and here is a little something for you :D

class chapel band rehearsal tmr!

i am now in love with Steve Holy's Good Morning Beautiful.
its so sweet and sappy!

2008-09-01T12:12:00.003+08:00

sunday was normal.
nothing much at all except that chris and yao happened to join in on our delivery mission.

anyway.
just got off the phone with ian and am feeling strangely contemplative.
whatever it is, it isnt my fault,
there is no need for me to be feeling guilty.
let's just pick up the broken pieces and move on.
say goodbye and close that disastrous chapter of my life.

looking forward to a lazy week at home.
nope, no plans.
i just want the time to myself to think and get things back on track.
and hopefully start my mugging engine again.
the only few events that are planned are aunt's birthday dinner on friday, class chapel band rehearsal on thursday, possibly rehearsal with the cousins for items for aunt's dinner and cousin's wedding but that's still tbc.

i still miss jason quite terribly.
especially times like now.

2008-08-30T20:09:00.004+08:00

youth today and then after that me, jess, chris, yao and my bro went off to catch Walle! :D
running from the bus stop to cine in the rain was quite a hilarious episode.
haha.

yes, so today was quite a happy day overall :)
except of course for the interesting bit of a danger alarm somewhere around noon.
i was quite touched that Both of them bothered to text and tell me what was going on.
pact in operation!
an attack against one or more of us shall be considered an attack against us all.
and yes, it is a rip-off from NATO. HAHA.

okay, i am off to work on chord sheets for tomorrow

2008-08-29T21:07:00.002+08:00

quick update here. :)

emo update here.
haha. (if you manage to access it that is ;)) has been deleted. (:

2008-08-26T12:58:00.008+08:00

i slept at twelve plus last night and got awoken at 5am this morning by a string of text messages and calls.
all right.
1. why is it that Everyone (and i mean Everyone) feels the need to inform Me of what had happened?
2. why was there this assumption that i still cared and this expectation of me to drop everything and run?
3. when the hell is all this crap ever going to end?

so at 530am i finally forced myself to answer ian's call and i am so thankful that all he did was to quietly inform me of the current situation and nothing else. purely factual, no opinions, no unnecessary 'advice'.
spoke to him until about 6plus and then hung up because he needed to catch abit of sleep.
it was back to trying to fend off the whole horde of texts and calls and finally i switched off my phone altogether (something which i have Hardly Ever done).
yes, That was how annoyed i was.
i think they got the message.

and so from about 630am till 1030am my phone was dead and i was just sitting on my bed staring into space and attempting to deal with all the voices ringing in my head and all the thoughts rushing about like mad trains.
1030am- i came to the conclusion that i am not going to bother, i am not going to waste my time anymore.
call me cold, call me cruel, whatever.
why not you try being in my shoes for these past 3 years?

switched my phone back on at 1030 and thankfully there was only one text and that was from my meh :)

too much drama and way too early in the morning.

oh well.
i'm all right and i'm moving on.
like it or not :)

Dont bombard me with emails and texts and goodness knows what else asking me what happened and who and all that usual nonsense.
i know i only posted this yesterday, but i figured some people have lesser memories than others, so here, for your own self-enrichment and for your own safety, kindly read this if you havent already done so, or if you have but have already forgotten its contents.

mummy's coming home soon and bringing me to finally get my hair cut!

i am addicted to Jason Mraz's Prettiest Friend :)

2008-08-25T15:44:00.006+08:00

photobucket was being a little uncooperative,
so pics from sat (of happy mostly) are here.
[plus a few other random old photos.]

and one more thing,
kindly read this if you dont want to get on my nerves (which alot of people have been doing lately.)
thank you :)

2008-08-24T21:55:00.002+08:00

went shopping with mummy just now and we took the train home.
it was the most disgusting ten minutes of my life.
right in front of us was some couple happily engaging in pda and slobbering over each other.
i Hate it when i see people doing that.
go get a room, all right?
and what was worse: behind us was this whole group of NSK sluts conversing at the top of their very shrill and grating voices in mandarin and singlish (typical NSK language for you.)
seriously the Entire train was Filled with the sound of them screaming and shrieking and ugh.
the silence when we finally got off the train was oh-so-beautiful.

2008-08-23T22:49:00.006+08:00

vocalist training at church in the morning.
i can feel just how the quality of my voice has really gone down.
aaaaah.
nevermind.
2009 is coming!! SYC SYC SYC! :D SARAAAAAAA!! cant wait cant wait! :)

went up to yummy mummy's office to kill abit of time.
met up with jess, marco, chris, yao and headed to parkway for lunch and happy-present-shopping.
dragged them into borders with me when we were done and omg there are just so many books i want to read!!
chris and yao were being annoying and attempting to imitate my reaction whenever i saw a book i wanted to read. (which was practically everything off certain shelves. haha)
marco got annoyed because we wouldnt let him go to the arcade and i kept them at borders all the way until we finally left for amk.
the bus ride was v long -.-
pretty amusing though i must say. uh huh.
we reached ge's house almost an hour early and just sat around and tried to capture happy's attention but not too successfully.
left with jess first at around 530 cos i wanted to get home early.
heard the guys left soon after we did.

came back and went for dinner with the daddy and the brother.
home again and i just finished watching part of Fiddler On The Roof with my dad :)
i like cold rainy nights like that and the feeling of having nothing to do and nothing hanging over my head but just being able to sit around, curl up and watch nice movies.
and the fact that its with my daddy is another plus <3
we're going to finish the other half of it tmr night (:
mummy still isnt back from her dinner!
meh i want to show her what i bought todayyyy.
pout whine.

all right
i need to go finish writing in me and my meh's book.
and sleep! haha its such nice weather to be sleeping.

night!

2008-08-22T19:07:00.002+08:00

liberation!
(temporal, that is.)

well.
hopefully tmr will be a nice day :)
i cant wait t see my meh! heh.

ah. does anyone know how to cut songs so that they start playing from a certain point and not right from the beginning?
neither ian nor joash is online :(
help.

aite.
i am off to livejournal :D

2008-08-20T12:40:00.004+08:00

bad time for cramps
:(

/edit
fell asleep on my BraveNewWorld notes for slightly over half an hour at about 330 plus.
ugh.
awoke in a foul mood to the smell of paint fumes.
crazy people in strange carriage-like human carriers supported by ropes are painting the exterior of the blocks in my estate.
does Not help at all.

and fantastic its almost 5 now and all i've done so far is go through Clockwork and what i currently see on my desk now (what i fell asleep on i guess) is "Analysis Chapter ONE" of BNW.

edited and adapted from snippets of an msn conversation with my wonderful friend:
Current Mode: Exams, exams, MOAR exams, exams... says:
popped pills?
`serahsong _______ peripeteia.| says:
dont HAVE em
Current Mode: Exams, exams, MOAR exams, exams... says:
eh? i thought you'd be the kind to possess them
`serahsong _______ peripeteia.| says:
i've Never taken anything
`serahsong _______ peripeteia.| says:
but just curl up and kneel over and fall asleep everywhere
`serahsong _______ peripeteia.| says:
Oh the only pill i've ever taken for this? Happy pills. (read: my m&ms.) WHICH I HAVE CURRENTLY RUN OUT OF OH HORROR
Current Mode: Exams, exams, MOAR exams, exams... says:
soma for you!
`serahsong _______ peripeteia.| says:
OH PLEASE THANK YOU

soma would totally be appreciated right now.
wait, make that totally Needed.

help.
HOW am i going to write 3 p4 essays tmr morning if this keeps up :(

all right enough of my whining.
on a lighter note, i finally got my hands on the Jason Reeves song Entwined that joash has been telling me about ever since ten thousand years ago,
and yes it is a very beautiful song :)

oh yes, putting my ipod on shuffle sometimes yields amusing results.
ian was completely offended when i answered his call and right there and then my speakers started blasting Leave Me Alone [The Veronicas].

and its funny how, the moment i finished conversing with -him over text messages,
That song began to play.
uh huh.

the insidious mastery of song ;)

2008-08-19T14:20:00.003+08:00

hilarious text from joash this morning:
hello. i know you have a math paper today. well, if you really get completely frustrated and upset, do refrain from swearing out loud and tearing up your exam paper (which i do think you Are capable of doing.) instead, just sing to following to the tune of Neyo's So Sick:
and i'm so sick of numbers,
so tired of math.
so done with wishing it were all over.
and i'm so sick of vectors,
so tired of graphs.
why cant i just leave the exam hall.

i have such marvellousssss friends.

okay, i didnt think it was possible to literally die twice,
but math has just proved me wrong :(
honestly, the paper can be described in one word:
Sadistic.

i hope econs will be kind and spare me.

oh dear. how my complexion suffers.
right Alyyyyyyy?
haha.

all right,
just two more papers left(:
both my meh and i end prelims on the same day :D

looking forward to sat!
well, i should say a certain part of sat in particular ;))

back to work now.
take care(:
and remember,
you are special. Just like Everyone Else.
[HAHA. excuse me for that but i just happened to be reading J's clockwork notes.]

2008-08-16T21:29:00.004+08:00

5 down, 3 more to go (:
math was a complete killer-
practically the whole hall went up in moans the moment we were dismissed.
aly: i should have gone to the hospital to get a cert and not sat for this paper.
yes, it was pretty =/
Stats must save my life for p2!

history was the most mentally draining one.
4 essays in 3 hours, one of which requiring close reading of 5 sources on an unknown and unexpected subject matter.
exhausting.

pretty much just froze during econs.
-.-
my fingers were completely numb.

lit seemed all right. i just hope i wasnt rambling and i hope the grade turns out okay. knowing how erratic lit can be...

oh my.
ian just called me an Arrogant Elitist all because i mentioned how i use lj more than blogspot now since its more Us-based and because i like its non-existence of Singlish and NSK language.
-.-
hello ian, its not like you aren't an arrogant elitist yourself, you who can barely read or write chinese and who has never uttered a single word of singlish At All.
hmm maybe That's why we're even friends in the first place.
HAHA.

all right all right
back to binom and poisson! :)

just a week more to go.
we shall ace prelims!
(yea, right.)
[prelims are meant to ~~murder~~ massacre.]
;)

/edit
nice, the ian just read my latest lj friends-only entry and insists that it Completely proves his point about me being an arrogant elitist indeed.
-.-

2008-08-12T15:54:00.002+08:00

the battle has begun!
one down, many more to go.

thanks all for your texts of blessings and well-wishes and prayers! :)
some awesome friends even texted twice or thrice- last night, this morning, and this afternoon after the paper.
many Hearts!

blogs and lj will be on hibernation mode (i hope) until further notice.

prelims, here i come!
Serah will survive with His grace (:

stay sane and take care!
<3

2008-08-11T16:27:00.003+08:00

my happy pills(:

you can see my IH Global Economy notes below the box!

its strange how addicted i am to my M&Ms Dark these days.
i think its because they're so bite-sized you can just keep popping them without realising just how much you've eaten.
i love their bright and cheery colours!
impossible to study without happy pills ;)

all righty,
its back to IMF's austerity measures in Brazil for now.

might update later tonight before the battle begins!

2008-08-10T20:48:00.002+08:00

national day weekend =
sat night: dinner with father's colleagues and relatives at Marina Mandarin.
fireworks viewing! :)

sun: church and lunch with the splashers at Popeye's (:
quick rest @ home before dinner at tbp with the family, uncle a and yao.
hilarious text msgs from sheree and hjj.
(that reminds me: fridz! we are checking if you're alive! if you are, do drop us a text! j's convinced you're dead and i'm wondering if you're already buried- under a pile of IH notes. ;))

and now i must be getting back to the books.
or rather, notes since our jc lives are devoid of textbooks.

things seem to be picking up :)
thank you my wonderful Saviour <3

hey you, i'm sorry about all the crap you have to put up with from me.
thanks for still always being there.
it means alot to me.
really. (:

2008-08-08T19:01:00.006+08:00

ian- expository. says:
beach study tmr!! you up?

li.is in slumber says:
yup yup yup yup yup yup!

`serahsong _______ peripeteia.| says:
wth! no way! HOW do you study on a freaking BEACH? and which one are you guys headed for anyway?

this shade of dark blue says:
sentosa probably..
wat's wrong with studying on a beach? you can tan at the same time. killing two birds with one stone.

li.is in slumber says:
my point exactly. :)
come on come on come on. the whole gang will be down.

`serahsong _______ peripeteia.| says:
urh. no way. and if its sentosa beach even more no way.

ian- expository. says:
come, let me attempt to convince you that the beach is the ultimate conducive study environment.
1. there is sand. 2. there is sea. 3. there is sun.
three S-es.

`serahsong _______ peripeteia.| says:
WHY THE HELL WOULD I NEED SUN SEA AND SAND TO STUDY YOU MAMON.
I DONT WANT SAND IN MY NOTES THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
AND I DONT WANT MY STATIONERY SUNBURNT EITHER.

`serahsong _______ peripeteia.| says:
besides. i've already agreed to studying with my classmate. so there(:
YOU can go off on your wonderful expedition to the beach and look like complete idiots sitting in the sun with your stacks of notes. i shall tell my church mates to look out for you and kick sand into your faces while they're playing volleyball.
HAHA.

i Really have mad friends.

i hope for their sake they regain their sanity asap.

/edit
5 minutes later, much to my relief, they have gotten over their completely ridiculous beach studying idea.

all right.
cold war cold war cold war let's go!

2008-08-07T22:55:00.003+08:00

why are things always freaking my fault?
not just that once,
but twice, and thrice.
why is it that i always end up emerging as the villian?
just because they always act innocent and oh-so-charming in front of everybody else does not diminish any of their responsibility.
if only you knew what really goes on beneath the surface.
just because i dont hide the things i did wrong does not mean i'm proud of them.
at least i'm upfront about them and am willing to be honest, unlike all of you who take such pains to always play the nice guy.
and just because i am willing to admit to my wrongs does not mean that i was not wronged as well.

you can't play the victim this time.

sending me on guilt trips?
wont work anymore.
because
i am no longer going to care.
none of you are worth it.
because i only stand to get hurt, i only stand to lose.
because everyone else takes your sides and puts all the blame on me.

remind me to keep my heart to myself.

ps; its so obvious you're lying.

2008-08-07T16:41:00.003+08:00

i realise our econs lecture notes are really really hopeless.
they're not just messy and badly organised,
there are so many grammatical errors and singlish sounding phrases.

eg.
1. Supply-side policies attempt to.....
It also tackles...
[you said policies, dude. PLURAL. so you use a THEY not IT.]

2. inflation problem can be seen in terms of...
[wth? 'inflation problem' indeed. -.-
your english then got problem lar.
-excuse the NSK language. i was merely trying to bring my point across.]

apologies, but reading pages and pages of such terrible notes just really puts me off.

try reading these econs lecture notes and then reading history notes immediately after.
the difference is oh-so-amazing.

2008-08-05T23:03:00.004+08:00

i guess for the past few weeks, i've felt completely lost without You.
i remember that one night when i absolutely couldnt stand it any longer and just completely broke down and wanted so much just to scream out loud: Where are You?

4th August 08, i penned the following on my lj in a friends-only entry:
"and sometimes, i just cant help but really wonder where You are.
then i realise its my own fault for being too busy for You during this period of time.
i miss You."

and on that very same day, mere hours later,
i received the following song:

You were there, You were there
In the midst of danger's snare
You were there, You were there always
You were there when the hardest fight
seemed so out of reach
Oh, You were there, You were always there
You were always there

You were there,
You were there
In the midst of the unclear
You were there, you were there always
You were there when obedience
Seemed to not make sense
You were there, You were always there
You were always there

So haven't I learned that my ways
Aren't as high as Yours are
And You alone keep the universe
From crumbling into dust
You are God and though we would
Not have understood You
There You were

Hanging blameless on a cross
You would rather die than leave me in the dark
Every moment, every planned coincidence
Just all makes sense
With Your last breath

You were there, You were there
During history's darkest hour
You were there, You were there always
You were the Victor and the King
You were the power in David's swing
You were the calm in Abraham
You are the God who understands
You are the strength when we have none
You are the living, Holy one
You were, You are and You will always be
the Risen Lamb of God
(-Avalon: You Were There)

thank You Heavenly Father.
thank You, thank You, thank You.

cos You took my hand and held on tight.
<3

2008-08-05T14:44:00.002+08:00

yet another sleepy day at school.
1. photocopying lit notes
2. buying envelopes
3. struggling to stay awake in history
4. being naughty students with S and the aly babaloo. heh.
5. collecting lit notes which was a most interesting experience.
6. lit lec where i again was struggling to stay awake.
lec ended and my wonderful friend displayed her -ahem- body art.
7. jiajun's statement of the day: winnie the pooh is sexually explicit. wth?
And my wonderful friend agreed and looked at me in this indreculous way and was like all, "didnt you know??"
right.
8. frida going deranged in math and moaning and groaning over pnc, so much so that i worried very much for my life and her sanity. (i am Not exaggerating.HAHA.)
and the most hilarious yet terrifying moment was when she suddenly produced some strange tissue-paper wrapped item and went in this completely morbid way:
"have a nut."
WTH??
i have mad friends.

oh well
at least its over
and its study break for now :)

ian is still trying to offer me deathcab for cutie ticks.
yea yea, rub it in, rub it in.
=(

2008-08-04T10:08:00.003+08:00

i'm supposed to be continuing with the history essay plan.
but my brain is just too exhausted and confused =/
bah.
stayed up till one plus last night to attempt to complete it but to no avail.
sigh.
i am so screwed for prelims.

late nights= sleepy days + bad complexion.
oh well.
cant be helped i guess.

and oh yes i woke up today and was still half asleep and trying to shove some food into my mouth at 6plus am, when my mum suddenly came bouncing up to me and dangling a bottle of Elizabeth Arden in my face.
Right.
at six in the morning.
it was quite strange. haha.

anyway.
many thanks to a someone who kept me company all the way last night (:

2008-08-01T23:04:00.005+08:00

studying with S today was pretty productive.
i'm almost done with the first two parts of Great Ex.
yay.

and i bought my dad's birthday gift!
haha it was so random and not in the plan but i couldnt resist.
i hope he's as amused as i was. meh.

church for prayer meeting after that and it was keyboard keyboard keyboard.
i broke my three hour record! :D
And i did it standing and with freezing freezing fingers (:
go me.

came back and there were nice letters awaiting :)

all right.
off to confuddle my brain with macro econs now.
and hopefully sleep before one.
have to be up early tmr since the dear big sister is bullying and exploiting me :(
and it'll be keyboard keyboard keyboard again tmr (at least during instrumentalist training.)
haha.
i cant bend my legs.
=/

my complexion is going!
oh fie. :(
i think its due mainly to stress and lack of sleep cos of the impending exams.
argh.
somehow this whole week i've slept at hours past twelve (and woken up at 6plus every day) cos i feel guilty for sleeping at all.
its really strange.

sheng just msned me! haha.
how has studying been?
oh boy.

2008-07-31T20:17:00.003+08:00

simple text msgs in the late evening that completely made my day and made me feel so comforted (:
he successfully turned the terrible day into a lovely night ;)

i'm glad that it all seems to be getting better.

and with the other Him (the Heavenly one :)) by my side as well,
things will get better.

and as i worship You,
You lead me to that place,
to that place of divine exchange.

2008-07-30T19:29:00.008+08:00

its either
(a) i really am finally finally starting to grasp the divine concepts in GP
or
(b) my tutor is starting to like me a little more.
and i do hope that its the former that's giving rise to the recent As i've been getting for my essays, including the mock exam essay we just did a couple of weeks back.
wait,
it could well be option (c): the most heavenly intervention from the Heavenly One.
ya think? ;)

oh yes,
i know i'm going to sound like an ungrateful bitch here,
but seriously,
i hate it when people pack my room.

anyway.
tonight = Great Ex annotation spree!

break their hearts and have no mercy :)

2008-07-29T20:49:00.008+08:00

i just updated my music library on my thumb drive :D
had the sudden urge to do so since i've now finally gotten my hands on Laura Pausini, the August Rush OST, Jack Johnson, Colbie, Les Mis. and Coldplay's latest album, just to name a few. :)
new music = sheer joy!
But. it also = no more space in ipod = must delete older songs.
hence i decided to back up all files on the thumbdrive.
and i want to get a new thumb soon. one that will be used to store only music and music alone (:
i need more Jason Mraz and Deathcab for Cutie.
meh.

oh the mummy dragged me out for lunch and shopping after school today -.-
and Yes she is well aware my prelims are in like, 12 days.
strangely enough, she doesnt seem very worried this time.
i wonder if that's a good or bad thing.

all right
i need to get back to attempting to comprehend macro econs.
:(

/edit at 11pm
and an hour before midnight,
a friend suddenly logs onto msn and nudges me with the one question i just happened to be musing over the other day:
"if there's no blood drawn, is it still considered self-harm?"
AHAHAHA.
there's joash and i and our strangely morbid debates for you (:
i shall be considerate and spare you the gory details ;)

[NOTE: kindly do NOT read into meanings that arent there. we are NOT emo depressed kids :)
this is what we do for self-entertainment. ;)
('This' referring to the most random and ridiculous discussions and NOT self-harm.)
LOL]

/after-thought:
we so need to add ian into this conversation.
HAHAHA.

2008-07-28T17:28:00.004+08:00

'tis a very strange day.

1. got back a lit essay where my tutor's comments were something along the lines of "the organisation of your essay is very odd."
and another friend got this: "this essay is very strange"
and yet another: "your use of quotes is very bizzare."
hmm.
what is with the sudden obsession with synonyms?

2. strange conversation with the form tutor and meranda.
right.

3. my strange friend going high on coffee and saying the strangest things to me all day. -much laughter and exasperation.

4. sheree + jiajun= sheer exasperation + one very exasperated me.
(excuse the excessive use of the word 'exasperation'. my brain is too fried to think of any -ahem- synonyms.)
really, its amusing the way they keep going for each others' throats.

5. the little brother suddenly adding me on facebook and sending me a message reading: "you're hot."
-.-
how i worry for his sanity.

6. the mummy going rather indignant when i said getting a good grade for my math is impossible and saying stuff like, 'if you could do it for your Amath before, you can certainly do it now.'
me: whine pout whine groan moan.

7. i forgot to buy my M&Ms!!!!!!!!
OH HORROR.

/edit.
happiness + His amazing blessings =

:)
overwhelmingly grateful.
thank You heavenly Father <3

2008-07-27T19:01:00.004+08:00

[cross posted from my lj]

lovely lovely pair of siblings.
sweetness personified ;)

k, back to my annotating spree now.

/edit.
just recieved the most hilarious text from the babaloo of an aly:
"and now we present Aly's Cooking Tip for the near future: add oil everyone! then your results will really sizzle! :D "

HAHAHA.

/edit at 10.10pm
and i spoke to joash again after like ten thousand years of stagnation.
(:
kind of glad that things seem to be getting better.
i really really didnt want to lose you as a friend :)
thank you for the apology.

2008-07-25T18:40:00.003+08:00

-edited and deleted at 9.40pm.
because its never safe to say too much.

on an impulse, i ________ again.
felt horrendously guilty and bad about it and ended up ______ for a good two hours after that.
thank goodness ian signed onto msn.
if not i have no idea what else i would have done.

"if the intention was there, whether or not it was on an impulse or not, its still wrong. apologise."
"the scars will fade in time. and so will the things of this world anyway. and in a mere few months time, you'll have forgotten that all these ever happened. dont waste your tears. its all just a part of life, it'll all pass eventually."
"you are stronger than you think. i know you are. and i know you're the kind of person who wont allow yourself to fall."
"keep going. like i said before, you gave [those things] up because you believed that [this one thing] was worth it. so stick to what you stood for. no rainbows without rain."
and as always, he's right.
felt so much better after talking to him (:

really, i cannot thank you enough for having stood with me through this whole difficult time. you have been such an awesome awesome friend. thank you for always reminding me to believe, for always being there to offer me your very valuable perspectives on things. thank you for always being there for me to talk to, even though i drag you onto the phone at like 3,4am sometimes. thank you for tolerating all my nonsense and weaknesses and moodiness and every single stupid thing i do. thank you for lecturing me and scolding me for them but yet at the same time comforting me and telling me that it'll all be okay. you've taught me so much dear friend and i dont know how i would have gotten through this period of time without you. thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.
you still are my miracle :)

anyway. with regard to those highly amusing emails from people who simply dont know any better and who keep on and on insisting i reply and answer to them,
i'll do a reply post here sometime soon(after my prelims probably).
honestly, its such a waste of my time to even bother with your ridiculous comments and demands,
but well, let's get things nicely sorted out once and for all, shall we? (:
no, i will not be giving you individual email replies since really, most of your emails' contents contain the same common trend and common bitchings.
seriously,
why do people have such ample time to do such things?

all right,
back to the books now.

2008-07-24T16:07:00.004+08:00

OH MY DUCHESS I SERIOUSLY WANT TO SWEAR RIGHT NOW.
Deathcab for Cutie's concert @ Esp is on 12 Aug!
Which, is the day of our Gp prelims, And the very next day on 13 Aug, i have freaking Econs and IH.
which all basically = its a Definite No Go.
OH FIE.
OH MISFORTUNE.
OH SAD DISASTER.
HOW COMES THIS???

ps: excuse the excessive DOM quotes.

2008-07-23T16:22:00.003+08:00

and school began today with a most amusing text from fridz.
she says the most hilarious things sometimes.

a fascinating episode with fruit and vouchers during our break.

math lec where fridz decided we were unworthy of her attention and moved off to sit with her friend.
nic came and sat with me and we were completely confuddled by the lecture.
sheree was unusually silent and absorbed in her tutorial.

photo taking session was mildly amusing.
another hilarious fridz moment where she was completely appalled to find out she owes a certain organisation 30bucks.
went off to grab local uni brochures and stuff with sheree and j after that.

trained back with j again and he is exasperating yet entertaining.
yesterday it was an extremely strange theory about blood pressure and growing up which totally did not make sense,
today i got grilled about my lack of a cca. -.-
i might add that during econs today he wrote all over my econs notes with my purple pen.
(although i should be grateful for that since i was switched off and falling asleep.)
OH YES. THAT reminds me.
HAN JIAJUN YOU FORGOT TO ZAP THE ECONS CASE STUDY!

i am sleepy :(
but if i do crash i'll probably never get my history tutorials on USA & USSR and their proxy wars, Churchill's Iron Curtain speech, Truman Doctrine, Marshall Plan and Berlin Blockade done.
plus i've still got lit notes on the portrayal of youth(Clockwork Orange) and power(Duchess of Malfi) to do up.
and correlation regression tutorial to finish.
oh boy,
dont you just love school?
(note sarcasm)

2008-07-22T20:02:00.005+08:00

i absolutely hate the way i'm still slacking away like nobody's business and doing random things instead of hitting the books.
i swear its complacency.

and yet i know As definitely wont be as easy as Os were.
but yet here i am, still not doing anything at all about it.

i think its probably because this time round, i have no goal/aim in mind to work towards.
for Os, i worked with just one aim in mind- to do music after Os. (either at SP or NAFA) [WELL. didnt work out. Just look where i am now. and i seriously regret my decision.]
now, i really have no idea at all what i want to do in future.
i have no idea what course i want to take in uni.
i dont even know if i want a local uni or overseas.
(there is one dream i do have in mind for my life though, but thing is, it just seems completely unrealistic and its not what people around me would expect and hence they'd probably not approve.)
US unis seem to have really interesting courses,(lib arts lib arts!)
but if i do intend to study there, there's the annoying inconvenience of having to sit for SATS which i'm lazy to do.
and then, there's still the issue of finance.
mother seems rather keen on Aussie since i have a relative over there, but there's no way i'll be able to get into Melbourne U's music course.
UK of course would be the ultimate destination, i mean, its Europe after all.
BUT Uk unis are probably even harder to gain entry into.
and looking at my non-existent cca record (for jc that is), and my horribly mediocre grades,
conclusion= either (a)i have no future or (b)i will be stuck in Singapore for the rest of my life.
what exciting prospects.

tata.
i am going to indulge myself in more chocolate (this time its the Rocky Road i got from Jones the Grocer's that night at Dempsey with the family)
and attempt correlation and regression (one annoying chapter of our math syllabus which has absolutely no correlation to our lives at all whatsoever [to quote sheree]).

2008-07-21T20:45:00.006+08:00

ian dropped by and caught me right when i reached my void deck after school today! haha
he made me a really really cute card

haha i think its so adorable and ridiculously happy looking!

and and he passed me back our book!

the lovely notebook we started two years back with the aim of filling it with nice quotes/phrases/just anything at all.
but so far its been mostly quotes and short statements we like :)

the motto we've been living by ever since we wrote it down (:

dont know where he picked this one up from but its one of my favourites too!

our latest addition! haha the first line's actually one of the lines from DOM i like! and he added in the second part of it. its a line from Take That's Rule the World :D
haha. i love our book!
and i always feel very blessed to have such close friends i can do such rubbish with! :)

and speaking of friends,
the following picture's from a really long time ago (like, May i think!)
it was sheng's birthday gift from me and net!

i think this is the first time i'm posting photos in this blog!
i've been lazy heh.

all right all right
its back to "'the Cold War is not about coexistance but a determination to achieve outright victory' how was this accurate a portrayal of the USA's foreign policy in the 1940s-1970s?" now.

/edit.
and that adorable idiot of a ian just told me what he made my card out of:
"they're cut outs from a mag. i stole cherrie's Seventeen."
OH MY DUCHESS WTH??? HAHAHAHA.
i would so love to have seen Cher's reaction! ROFL.
(C's his cousin and an awesome friend of ours too just fyi)

i need to get that issue of Seventeen.
-is still infinitely amused.

2008-07-21T10:22:00.005+08:00

and i am now in the com lab supposedly to be doing math but am using the com.
HEH.
only have one lesson to attend today HAHA.

sheree lieu brought me More chocolate from Europe.
(haha she was so cute : "whatever happened, this is to cheer you up" !)
i swear i am going to get a sore throat.
the babaloo of an aly got herself mild tonsillitis =/
probably partly my fault since i kept feeding her M&Ms over the last week as i was perpetually indulging in them myself.
oh deary me.

all right all right.

i should stop blogging so consistently and start studying more consistently. >.<

letter from Canada soon! :D

2008-07-19T18:08:00.004+08:00

spoke to ian till almost one last night haha.
and was so reluctant to wake up for gp mock this morning.
and i almost fell asleep during paper2 i was so bored and tired.

but it was awesome talking to him again after so long.
(got back from youth today and logged onto msn to continue talking again!)
but some things he said really hit home
such as:
"if you chose to give it up for those reasons, then obviously you believe that those things were worth the loss of that one thing. stick to your beliefs and have faith in your own decisions. ultimately its you yourself who stands to gain."
and with regard to ____ :
"well it just goes to show that he isnt in as much of control of his emotions as you are and shows that he really wasnt as strong as you believed right?"
and one thing that really really struck:
"isnt it better if your feelings do eventually fade? better to be numb than to be in pain."
haha.
and i swear i'm always amused at all his controversial views about certain issues.

oh yes i stepped into Faithworks today to look for something for the mummy's birthday.
this collection of books offering Christian perspectives on the Arab-Israeli conflict and stuff happened to catch my attention so i went and flipped through them,
and i was absolutely absolutely turned off to see how they were all so bloody pro-American.
i mean, yea, you are writing from a Christian angle and you have to take into consideration all that Zionism stuff, but still, couldnt you be more objective instead of being all "how great is our America" and "Israel, God's chosen nation is awesome and will survive anything" and bla bla bla. (well, obviously they didnt write those exact words, but it was very very clearly implied.)
seriously, America isnt dubbed the 'Great Satan' for nothing you know.
its really not an unfounded label.
and yes, you do have to be somewhat pro-Israel as a Christian, but hello, look at the way they're mistreating the Palestinians in the Occupied Territories and stuff.
yea God's chosen nation is Israel, but if God loves all people, how justified then are the Israelites in their treatment of the Palestinians in the OTs?
i really would like to see a Christian perspective on That issue.

well.
i am going highlight my DOM.
and my econs lec notes and maybe finally dig out the textbook i've hardly ever touched.

Sheree lieu's back from Europe!
haha
`sheree; thelastelegy.livejournal.com says :
i think i look good in shades
`sheree; thelastelegy.livejournal.com says :
sorry im damn high
`sheree; thelastelegy.livejournal.com says :
because like.. its 1242pm in vienna now
wth? Lol lol lol.

i shall resume conversing with ian in Shakespearean English.
HAHA dont ask me why we even started that.
i think it started at like midnight last night when i was completely zonked and he was attempting to keep me awake.
hurhur.

uni fair tmr.
meeting sheng! :)

2008-07-18T16:41:00.004+08:00

i just HAD to blog about this.
our history teacher was telling us about the revised International History syllabus our juniors are getting.
so basically, removed from the syllabus are:
IMF/WB, GATT and WTO.
But, still in the syllabus are:
Debt Crisis, free trade and protectionism.

HAHAHAHA. I SWEAR ITS SUCH A JOKE.

point of interest:
have you realised how, in the latest Narnia movie, the villians are portrayed as very Middle Eastern?
aah all those big western powers and their not-so-secret agendas...

/edit at 10pm
i put moses into a powerpoint presentation!
haha go me! formal presentations and speeches must be getting into me, i was about to type out a whole script, then i realised just how strange i was being.
ian was laughing at me non stop over msn >.<
thanks friend.
but well, he was nice enough to send me Laura Pausini to make up for being such a maniac.
yay new music new music new music!
i swear i need ipod 60gb! :(

oh and speaking of apple products,
my dad was random one night when we were walking past some gadget shop and he went "if you do well for As i'll get you an iphone."
i'm like, wat the... what good is an iphone, i'd rather get a macbook or something.
so he went "okay, if you do well i'll get you a macbook"
uh huh.
hey, come to think of it, i could have bargained with him and said something like, if i do well for prelims then i get a new ipod; if i do well for As, i get macbook! :D
HAHA i should try my luck some time ;)

k
i'm going to look through this Afghan aticle the daddy zapped for me, attempt to prepare for gp mock tmr (which is quite impossible, i never ever knew how to prepare for a gp paper), talk more with ian, look through Ten Things, Bible and then attempt to fall asleep before one.
night y'all.

reading into things you never meant?

2008-07-17T14:26:00.003+08:00

Sop last night was awesome! :)
i like their new song! (the opening song)
their harmonisation was so goooood!
and their acoustic guitar was lovely.
And and and the VIOLIN!!
haha but yes it was a nice night of praise and worship <3

today:
was in math tutorial trying to plot my scatter graph on my gc when i got happy mummy's text.
ended up having an extremely amusing conversation with her while poring over the gc.
HAHA it was an interesting multi-tasking experience.

nearly died from cramps so halfway through my break i dragged myself up to the empty classroom to crash for abit before history started.
and decided to give pan pac lunch a miss as the pain was oh-so-terrible.
so now i am home and indulging very guiltily in my favourite happy pill- chocolate :D
(to be more exact, the drug of choice today is Hershey's Dark Chocolate ;))
haha. well, makes me feel alot better after a terrible week :)

oh yes, we got our trophy and the prize money today :D
not that i care much about the trophy..
but heh almost 40bucks each!
not bad not bad indeed.

ooh i have finished the entire block/bar of Hershey's.
here's to a sore throat =/

stay sane!
(hopefully I will with my aching body, exahausted brain and busy busy weekend ahead. Oh not to mention the C.r.a.m.p.s.)
haha.
well, my God is mighty to save!

2008-07-16T15:52:00.002+08:00

now, what was it i wanted to say?
Oh yes.
i wasnt supposed to blog today.
but happened to turn on the lappie to pop onto livejournal for abit and have to email a rsvp so well, might as well.
oh yes the rsvp.
HOW do you email an rsvp?
-ponders.
i shall go nudge my wonderful friend.

sop tonight :)
i doubt i'll get to go for fop this year though due to my impending doom in just three or so weeks time (read: prelims). :(
what a pity.
-insert mournful sigh.

gp mock exam this sat morning and then it'll be a rush down to church for youth.
and on sunday after church there's the uni fair and "networking tea session with representatives from various scholarship boards"(or so they say) to attend at suntec.
well i suppose it could be pretty interesting.

i must get back to econs notes.

oh darn it.
the cramps are here.
how very timely.
-insert pout and whines.

2008-07-15T16:08:00.002+08:00

terrible reality of prelims in less than 30 days time is starting to really sink in.
i need to get myself down to studying.
and i need to stop thinking about all this crap.
it can all wait.

i'm not helping myself at all am i?

well you arent helping much either now.
stop pressing me.
seriously.
the fact that you're recovered and discharged actually doesnt mean anything at all.
not for us at least.
and not for now either.

maybe i need to see the daylight
leave behind this half life
cant you see i'm breaking down
lately something just dont feel right
this is just a half life
is there really no escape from time?

takes too much out of me to pretend
tell me how to make amends

yea you can blame it on me.
that's what everyone does anyway.
its always my fault.

its me that's the screw-up.

2008-07-14T13:22:00.004+08:00

be strong.
you are stronger than you think.

but how long, dear Lord?
never mind My child, trust Me.

有些事我只想要对祢说
因祢比任何人都爱我
痛苦从眼中流下
我知道祢为我擦
所需要的力量祢天天赐给我
祢恩典够我用

/edit
just got a msg on facebook that really really was very encouraging.

The opposite of weeping and crying is sure joy and laughter - a sound mind! That is what God is going to use to replace all the sad moments of your life in Jesus' mighty name. You will know weeping no more. Crying shall no longer be heard in all that concerns you. The joy of the Lord is your strength. The Lord will rejoice and take delight over you.

no matter how you feel, He knows.
He always does.

2008-07-13T20:32:00.002+08:00

and yesterday was the longest longest day of my life.
thank goodness its over :)

i finally got the Fee album!
its nice (:

anyway, i fell asleep at like 1150pm last night
and got awoken at twelve midnight by S's msg from Europe haha.
ended up texting her for abit
and as a result couldnt wake up at all this morning heh.

back to school for another draining week tmr.
oh well.

You were before time
and You'll be when it ends
for you have no beginning
and no end
Your word shall endure
without change it is sure
on Your promises
i will stand secure

Faithful
You are ever faithful
You are ever faithful to me, God
Powerful, You are crowned all-powerful
all the world will bow before You, Oh God

Your might, your display
in the skies everyday
everything You created
for Your praise
from the cross on the earth
to Your throne you returned
where You reign over all creation
never changed, never shaken

You're the song of my soul salvation
life that cannot be taken
solid rock, firm foundation
never changed, never shaken

2008-07-10T17:47:00.002+08:00

this week,
my saturday = long sleeved white blouse + cream skirt + thick heavy school blazer + school tie + stockings + court shoes from 730am till at least 530pm.
Kill me now.
-bangs head against wall.
how do i get myself into such things?

met jac on the way home today and she passed me our old sin book! haha.
brings back memories indeed ;)

aaah.
i need to go and do up note cards for my speech.
and look through the sbq for tmr.

i dont want saturday :(

2008-07-09T19:30:00.005+08:00

tonight = finish Hypothesis Testing tutorial + 'The development of the international economy in the period 1945-2000 was chaaracterized by the sacrifice of international interests for national interests.' How far do you agree? + 'From its beginnings, the international economy was characterized by flawed aims and methods.' How far do you agree? + (maybe)work on speech + text E (remind her to bring blazer) + text N (remind him to bring laptop) + (maybe)dig out gp file + read Tempest + read Econs + read Bible + pack bag and stuff for tomorrow + (finally)attempt to fall asleep (which may be just as impossible to do as it was last night) = i need to get down to work now.

after-thought: i forsee that the second history tutorial question is going to be a big headache.

/edit
i have no idea how to do a t -test.

2008-07-08T21:56:00.003+08:00

my God is amazing.
Right when i've been hit and am feeling down and disgruntled and weary and tired all over again,
just when i'm feeling disappointed and disillusioned and lost faith in everyone around me,
just when i want so much to give it all up because its just been so hard,
Right at that moment,
He plays this song for me over the online christian radio i'm listening to:
[Won By One- Press On]
When the valley is deep
When the mountain is steep
When the body is weary
When we stumble and fall

When the choices are hard
When we're battered and scarred
When we've spent our resources
When we've given our all

In Jesus' name, we press on
In Jesus' name, we press on
Dear Lord, with the prize
Clear before our eyes
We find the strength to press on

my God is Mighty to Save :)
i will press on and not give up no matter how hard :)
i wont let You down again.

Splashers!

2008-07-07T19:24:00.007+08:00

SPLASHERS!
yes my lovelies,
there's a treat waiting for you at the newly updated Splash blog so head on over there now now now :)

/edit.
my dad brought home a wii console but he cant figure out how to use it.
i am going to eat apples and laugh at him.

and maybe, just maybe, attempt to do some hypothesis testing.
;)

/edit
so, almost half an hour later he's finally got it started and now i can hear my mum shrieking over her tennis game.

right.

Hypothesis testing!

2008-07-07T16:09:00.002+08:00

i want Watershed Worship and Hallal Music albums!
are they even available in Singapore? =/

Watershed's acappella version of All My Life is really nice :)

ah i need to haunt cd shops!

2008-07-06T19:15:00.001+08:00

its been one hell of a roller-coaster week.
let's hope it all gets better from now (:

cos in the end i want to be standing at the beginning with you.

2008-07-04T15:48:00.008+08:00

i hate people who take ten thousand years to reply a very simple yet pretty important text message.

granted, maybe you're busy.
maybe you're tired.
maybe you're too obsessed with dealing with your many emotional needs or goodness knows what else.
fine.

but then again, am i not as busy, as tired, as stressed and as annoyed?

you have no idea how much i want to swear at all of you right now.

hello my exploding phone bill.
and hello my screaming mother.
yea, take your pick: would you rather skin me alive or boil me in soup? or you could simply do this the good old-fashioned way and just stab me in the heart. other options would include setting me ablaze, or burying me alive, or strangling(like how the Duchess of Malfi died), or maybe cutting me into half. yea. depends on how mad you are, i suppose.
do rejoice at my funeral.
i'm sure all of you will.
i myself definitely will.

carpe diem.
yea, right.
i would if tomorrow were the day i left this cruel world.
(ooh, i could actually leave this world tomorrow if my phone bill decides to arrive then. wonderful.)

and just fyi:
no, its not okay.

and who the hell do you take me for?

2008-07-02T19:01:00.005+08:00

perhaps things will get better,
or maybe they wont.
perhaps it will all work out after all,
or maybe it wont.

people around me keep telling me things.
others keep asking me annoyingly personal questions.
some are doing Both.
and those are the people who should know by now that i hate telling anyone anything too personal, anything too truthful. and i wont.
and they also should know by now that i do not trust anybody and am extremely stubborn and not good at taking advice from others.
and i especially dislike it when people question my reasons for doing certain things.
do not you ask the reason why but be satisfied i say i would not.
i leave you alone, so kindly leave me alone too.
why doth your ladyship love this solitariness?
because people only stand to hurt you, dont they?

i've even stopped trusting you already.
and i wonder whyyy.
(note sarcasm.)

i hate the way people just keep on and on letting you down and stabbing you in the back.
promises are made to broken.
oh yes, you learn every time you bleed.

or maybe its me and how i have such overly idealistic tendancies.
wake up and stop believing the world is wonderful. because its not.
wake up and stop believing that there are still some people left who you can count on, because there arent.
(well, maybe with one exception. and we shall see about that one.)

i dont even trust people who are genuinely nice to me and who have really done alot for me(like my dad who has been Awesome.).
better safe than sorry.
because people who have been genuinely amazing to me have turned and stabbed me in the back before.
and when that happens it hurts a thousand times worse because you actually believed in them to keep your secrets.

closing up and walling in.
yes it was all deliberate.

opening up and letting in.
that may never happen again.
(except with my Father in Heaven of course)

spoke with a former close friend just last night.
its strange, how fast people can change.
or maybe i was just too naive to see his true colours before.
you dont know how appalled i was to hear you say those things.
yea, guys are all the same after all.
my heart breaks for her, you know?
(doesnt help that she is also a close friend of mine and i hate being stuck in this current position.)
she doesnt deserve this,
and i never thought you'd do this.
goes to show how you cant even trust the people closest to you, how you may not even really know who your closest friends truly are.
and its scary, aint it?
i dont expect to hear from you again.
and honestly, i dont want to.

they come and go
oh yes that's absolutely true.
maybe eventually even he will end up walking out of my life.
who knows?

disillusioned.
disenchanted.

now i should learn how to be disinterested.

i must feign somewhat.
thou art deceived.

or maybe i just need to examine my mental health.
i sound like an extremely anal misanthrope.

2008-06-30T18:58:00.004+08:00

today proved to be an interesting day.
was very sleepy and moody in the morning at first
but i suppose the energy level increased.
nic was all crazy during econs and kept on announcing to me her interpretations of what was going on in the lecturer's head -.-
and drew strange stuff during math lecture all over a piece of paper i dug out from my file.

fascinating conversation topic over lunch (initiated by j as usual) regarding whether or not unborn/still-born babies go to heaven had all of us wondering what on earth he had been up to over the weekend. HAHAHA.

j, deb and i spent our long break out of school on a mission to joanne's place to run her an errand! ;)
we broke into her house! or rather, deb was the one who did the breaking in while j and i stood outside and peeked.
went off to get bubble tea after that (:

pe was hilarious.

anyway.
pics from sunday here!! :D
umbrella galore! haha.

I Will Be Here is really a very sweet song :)
even if it is quite old. heh.

2008-06-28T23:09:00.002+08:00

i'm sorry i forgot.
i'm sorry i drifted away.
Lord forgive me.

no matter how bad things are,
i want to always remember You are there,
seeing me through each and every situation.
and that with You by my side,
i have peace, and grace.

在祢宝座前, 是我藏身处;
祢必以得救的乐歌
四面来环绕我.
在祢宝座前有生命水涌流,
更新医治我 :)

2008-06-27T16:09:00.002+08:00

amusing highlights of the day:

1. "studies have shown that people above the age of 50 generally find greater satisfaction in sex.."
"now i know why my parents had me!!!"

2. "what, are you Jaywalking???!!"
"yea, Duh"
"WOMAN! you havent taken your A levels!!"
"THAT'S THE POINT!!!"

haha i have successfully survived a week of school!
GO ME :D

UN presentation slides!
haha. we're missing an econs mock due to the presentation.
i dont know if that's good or bad HAHA.

all right.
later (:

2008-06-26T18:50:00.004+08:00

so, i am supposed to write myself a testimonial.
right.
personal qualities write up.
right.

academic performance:
y is a very promising student who shows potential for excellent work. however, she will only ever put in effort into subjects she likes and shows no interest in her studies (as the subjects she currently studies are not what she likes, with the notable exception of Literature. do note however, that when she does put her heart into something she loves, she is able to do exceedingly well- back in secondary school, she won the top prize for the subject Music for two years in a row). she is very unmotivated and will only attempt to improve herself academically when there is a dire need to (ie. if she has achieved horrendous results in a recent test), and this attests to her negative attitude towards her studies. she is able to grasp concepts readily, but will not bother to apply them in her work. her lack of dilligence and determination to bank on last minute work, however, still gets her results of fair standards(yes, like that bloody 6 points for Os), albeit with much divine intervention from her Daddy in heaven.

character:
y is a rash and impulsive person who will not hesitate to do as she likes. she is unapproachable and difficult to befriend. she is is focused and well aware of her goals and priorities in life (of which, school is most unfortunately not) and shows great determination in achieveing them, revealing her Machiavellian character. she is confident and does not see the need to seek approval from anyone, but is often rebellious and non-comformist, and has gotten into much trouble for deviating from social norms and breaking school rules. she displays patience and perception, but only towards a select few friends whom she deems worthy of her attention. she is a difficult student who very often displays completely incomprehensible behaviour.

co-curricular activites:
it is most regretful to note that y does not have a CCA. this is mainly due to her priorities and goals in life having shifted in these past two years. another reason for this is also because she does not agree with many of the ideals of the CCA she would have participated in (if not for its rehearsal timings clashing with her beloved church dedications), although she still does hold that CCA in high regard for their over achievements.
(however, she would be glad if you would note that she was highly commited and dedicated to her CCA back in secondary school, and held a leadership position as a Section Leader.)
she also has has no sense of community spirit and has not completed any CIPs over the course of the two years at all, with the exception of a class-initiated walkathon, and several hours spent wandering to and fro repeatedly in a dark cold haunted house(which might not even be considered proper CIP hours).

other comments:
y has indeed been a disappointing student. given her highly individualistic and deviant character, coupled with her desire to rebel and be different, working in tandem with her lack of interest in her studies, i have every confidence that she will either 1. fail her A levels and get nowhere in life, or 2. achieve passable results for her A levels and get somewhere in life if she again recieves the divine intervention she so desperately requires.

okay. okay.
i am off to write the REAL thing ;)

2008-06-24T19:52:00.005+08:00

yesterday's moody, grumpy post deleted.
(:

well. second day of school.
interesting points:
1. "he's like a freaking UNICORN!"
-with reference to an illusive teacher who can never be found when he's wanted.

2. "class teachers, kindly submit your class attendance sheets to the office. we need to track for Avian Flu"
and at this point, sheree and i look at each other and stifle laughter.

3. person one: "hello nagasaki!" (or something along those lines)
person two: "yea, whatever, you can call me nagasaki or anything. you can call me hiroshima.."
-extremely strange conversation overheard in canteen.

4. discovery: the school canteen is a noisy and crazy place wherein it's impossible to hold a decent conversation (on your cell phone).

5. amusing episode with the baby sister in the early morning searching for a graphic calculator.

6. discovery 2: i really have not spoken to jac for like, the longest time :(

7. discovery 3: it really is very strange to bump into friends you've completely drifted apart from.
-shrugs.
not my problem if that's the way you want things.

8. discovery 4: they've reverted back to turning the air con on in the hall at more decent timings.

9. the school thinks we're all Snow Whites.
an apple a day keeps the wicked witch away. maybe.

that should about sum things up.

and some non-school related matters(:
1. discovery 5: http://www.godlistens.com/player_win.htm
christian radio!

2. home-made lychee jelly and chocolate ice cream from aunty xiurong! :D

3. discovery 6: i have yet to figure out the chords for One Day and Stepping Onto The Road Home. meh.

4. musing: is there any rehearsal for the items on sunday?

5. discovery 7: i havent spoken to my meh for sometime.

6. two emails that made my day (:

7. my favourite song just started playing on that christian radio thingy! :D
[Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone)]

8. point of consternation: face is not clearing up. but in fact, seems to be getting worse.
help.

9. musing 2: i think i may end up being a total bad-mooding bitch this week, so please excuse me. i will try my best to be civil and sweet and not bite anyone's head off but i do beg your pardon if i am uncharacteristically harsh towards you, or if i ignore you like you're a mere piece of furniture.

10. musing 3 (something which has been on my heart alot lately) shall not be revealed here, but on livejournal and in a friends-only post.

2008-06-22T21:09:00.002+08:00

we learnt a very important fact today:
seven people can fit into a little black sporty Lexus.
(albeit uncomfortably of course. not to mention the suspension...)
HAHAHA.

a few more hours till school starts.
=(((((((((((
sad sad sad.
lit poem comparison essay!
gah.
should be concentrating.
but a certain noisy rubbish group of people just HAD to add me into a msn conversation.
haha. just kidding, my beloved splashers ;)

all right.
essay essay essay.
let's go.

i dont want school :(

i'll miss you.

2008-06-20T10:59:00.002+08:00

back to crescent was fun yesterday (:
it was really nice seeing ms tham and mr tay again.

spoke to the clumsy till i fell asleep at twelve plus last night and got awoken by his call this morning at near ten haha.

school starts in like, three days :(

rush homework rush homework.

well at least the gp talks thingy's pretty interesting.

meh.

2008-06-18T19:06:00.003+08:00

class clique gathering was fun!
watched juno for abit, cut deb's birthday cake, and then had board meeting ;)
which was surprisingly productive AHAHA.
we ate quite abit! :D

why are strange people adding me on facebook >.<

hmm.
last i heard, you were still on prozac and still a suicide risk.
nothing i can do now.
i've already ceased contact.
but i keep hoping and praying that you'll be okay soon.
take care dear friend.

meeting sara tmr!
study/brekkie at good old tanglin macs before heading to dear old crescent for ms tham and mr tay's farewell party :)
haha. i miss my partner-in-crime! havent seen her for eons!

i should be studying. heh.
but feel abit better today after finding that i'm not the only one who hasnt finished lit essays ;)

hmm. my evil entertainer has not replied my text.
i wonder what's going on.

<3

2008-06-17T16:28:00.002+08:00

back! (:
it was a nice trip since my two favourite photography subjects were around! :D
(read: rae and daniel yang)
click HERE for PHOTOS!

and it was a sweet place.
haha.
sea breeze and sun and good food!
like mummy said, good place for youth camps actually.
and a good getaway from the hustle and bustle of modern urban life.
only thing missing was a nice swimming pool.
but it was still enjoyable.
doing nothing but lazing about in the sun, biking and eating and eating.
and fishing attempts which yielded two crabs, an eel, a catfish, some other strange fish and a starfish!
it was hilarious really.
especially our reactions whenever something caught onto the line.
females are hysterical (:

aah
well, back to reality and the terrible corrupting influences of modernity and the city lifestyle.
(ie. back to facing the atrocious As)
=(

school starts in less than a week.
kill me please.

2008-06-13T10:08:00.004+08:00

finished updating the church songbook!
yay. go me (:

i still sorely lack self discipline in many other areas.
MATH MATH MATH!
speaking of math, spent some time last night attempting to teach my mom how to solve simultaneous eqns with the graphic calculator before realising her calculator doesnt even have the application loaded.
right.

i cant bring myself to finish the essays either.

nevermind.
when we're overseas from sun to tues i shall lock myself in the bungalow and go hardcore.

class clique gathering on wed.
what are the plans? hmm.
all i know is that its at my place.
nothing furthur.

church at 730AM tmr.
way too early :(
haha. and after botanic gardens, am probably going to hang around somewhere with happy mummy.
before heading off for vivo rooftop in the late afternoon
and then at 730PM its back to church for worship rehearsal :)
i am supposed to do proj but we are currently hatching a conspiracy which might allow for a 3/4 splash jamming session :D
(well, albeit with non splashers of course.)
shh! Secret!
its all up to uncle alvin's arrangements ahaha.

ah, i dont want to go back to school at all :(
i hate that place :(((
nevermind.
its less than half a year to go!
serah will survive.
and then after november she will never ever have to step into that place again
(except to get her results of course)
just a few more months!!

靠祢的恩典站立 :)

/edit
was looking through my old blog (mycoupdegrace)
and it brought back loads of memories haha
and this suddenly surprised me because i had long forgotten about it:

"'God has a pattern with relationships. and relationship is a network of life so one cannot advance without them, therefore one has to know that building relationship works in a pattern..all relationships begin with introduction followed by acquaintance, then friendship before it ends off with intimacy..so irregardless of whether its friendship or bgr kinda relationship, it must follow that pattern if not it wont work..However, not all relationship moves in this pattern as they will stop at certain level..mm..that's why when one sinned in a relationship do repent and ask for forgiveness..because if we dont we will only increase the distance between each other..and if this continues it will put an ending to the relationship that existed..So if it is a small problem and one don't solve it, it will become bigger and bigger..it applies to what you are in now yining..so you have to take that necessary step ( which is to solve the prob) if not it will turn out for the worst..yeap..erm..i know it's hard to let go but dwelling in that situation won't help either..im sure you know what you should do now yeah?..mm..seriously, i hope you get the message i wanna tell you..yeap yeap..if you have probs do tell me, i will be there to lend you my listening ear..at the mean time, take care yeah:))'
-from dearest yvonne's blog."

i remember i saw it on her blog after we met up that one day and i was pretty touched by it even if i didnt understand fully what she was trying to convey.
haha. but i remember it did cheer me up alot through that very bad time.
i miss yvonne!